


(Let Me Be Your Last) First

by agenthill



Series: And, In Sign of Ancient Love, Their Plighted Hands They Join [20]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Character Development, Character Study, F/F, Fluff, Getting Together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-22 21:36:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10705593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agenthill/pseuds/agenthill
Summary: They have met, time and again, by name and by reputation, as coworkers, as people, and as friends, and now, they find themselves meeting in a way which is entirely new.Or,Through a series of introductions, Satya and Mei find themselves, and one another.





	(Let Me Be Your Last) First

**Author's Note:**

> I mentioned like... in a throwaway line in Shot... that Satya and Mei seem like a perfect couple to Angela. So then I had to put my money where my mouth was and write them to prove it.
> 
>  
> 
> [Crossposted to tumblr.](http://agenthill.tumblr.com/post/159887655536/let-me-be-your-last-first)

I.

Satya's earliest introduction to Mei is not a formal one, nor indeed is it one in which the two of them meet at all. Instead, it comes in the form of a name repeated, time and again, in the whispers of other architechture students: _Zhou Mei-Ling_.

While Satya is not prone to gossiping, and would far prefer silence in the classroom, she cannot help but overhear her classmates, loud as they are, and to learn from them the fate of Watchpoint: Antarctica. Somehow, amidst the turmoil of Overwatch falling, an entire Watchpoint has disappeared, as if it never existed at all. The mystery of the thing is what captivates Satya's peers, the morbid curiosity about the fate of the climatologists stationed at the doomed Watchpoint, but it is not this which intrigues Satya.

Generally, Satya regards news of the world outside of Vishkar and her studies as irrelevant, as something which will only distract her from her mission to better the world, but stories like this one, or the Tacoma Narrows Bridge, or the Lotus Riverside, stories of structural failings, poor urban planning and Watchpoints disappearing—they fascinate Satya. Order, she knows, is necessary in order to ensure that buildings function, that things stay in their rightful place. And so, the disappearance of one Zhou Mei-Ling and her team is one which intrigues her, serving as a cautionary tale.

Like so many others in the decade to come, Satya reads all that she can about the missing Watchpoint, trying to piece together what went wrong that allowed an entire research station, built by the most powerful geopolitical entity on the planet, to simply disappear.

In the years following Watchpoint: Antarctica's disappearance, Satya learns all she can about the doomed expedition, and comes to know Zhou Mei-Ling, and all those who travelled with her, as well as she knows anyone else.

 

II.

When Mei returns to civilization after a decade spent in cryostasis, the world as she once knew it has disappeared. Furthermore, even if she were familiar with her surroundings, she finds that she is easily overwhelmed in this strange future by sights, by sounds and smells, after so many years spent seeing, hearing, smelling, feeling nothing, locked in the ice as she was. It is all Mei can do, crossing the busy London streets, to try and stay calm, and not allow herself to become overwhelmed by the world around her, by the thousand sensory experiences her body has forgotten.

In a panic, Mei finds herself looking up, up, trying to see the sky, to remind herself that there remains, somewhere, vast emptiness, space uncrowded by people, by cars, by bright lights. Instead, Mei's eyes find a billboard for Architech magazine, and on it a woman, face blank and aura commanding. Something about her is calming, and Mei focuses on it as she breathes, in and out, in and out, until she once again feels able to proceed.

At Heathrow, boarding a flight to Gibraltar, Mei purchases a copy of the magazine, and reads the profile on Satya Vaswani, the woman on the billboard. While she understands little of the technical aspects of the interview, hard light manipulation having been in its infancy at the time she left for Watchpoint: Antarctica, Mei finds the interview itself reassuring. Dr. Vaswani seems so certain that the future will be a good one, that she and her fellows at Vishkar are going to right wrongs in the chaotic world Mei has found herself returning to, and Mei, reading her words, takes hope.

Perhaps the world Mei has returned to is not the one she left, but the people in it are not unhappy, are working to better the world, just as Overwatch once did, and that is worth something.

 

III.

A decade after the disappearance of Watchpoint: Antarctica, Satya Vaswani is a changed woman. No longer does she have the faith in the Vishkar Corporation which so defined her younger self; as a matter of fact, she finds herself doubting the actions and motivations of the organization more and more with each passing day. As much as Satya hates change, she knows a change is coming, and doubts it will be for the better, fears for her future, fears that all she has worked towards has been for naught, and that the rules by which she defined her reality are not truly hard and fast.

So, it is with relief that Satya immerses herself once again in the world of Zhou Mei-Ling, climatologist turned adventurer. Dr. Zhou's writing about her travels, about adjusting to a world which is not the one she left behind captivates Satya. In the beginning, her renewed fascination serves as a distraction, as something upon which Satya can focus to avoid dwelling upon her concerns about her work, but quickly, it transforms into something more. Reading Dr. Zhou's journals, and the optimism with which she approaches a changed world intrigues Satya, and she finds herself comparing their situations.

Surely, if Dr. Zhou can miss a decade of history, can return to find her former employer made illegal by international treatise, and some of her coworkers convicted of war crimes, and still remain the same happy, hopeful woman she was before her disappearance, then the part of Satya which makes her the woman she is can remain constant in the absence of Vishkar.

Even if her surroundings change, Satya begins to believe, she need not fear that change, for she herself need not be changed by it. What consistency she needs she can provide for herself.

 

IV.

When Mei meets her new coworkers, she takes an immediate liking to Lucio. Like she, he has lost friends, has seen great change, and works, every day, to remain positive, to take heart and believe in a better future for himself and those whom he cares about. Mei fights for the future of the world, and in fighting to defend the disenfranchised, so, too, does Lucio.

Because of this connection, it is all the more surprising that Lucio is the one who first shakes Mei's faith in this new world. It is not, of course, his intent to do so—but in discussing the crimes committed by the Vishkar Corporation against the people of his community, he does so nonetheless.

Unwittingly, Mei has built up the image of Dr. Satya Vaswani in her mind, has imagined that the woman's cool confidence in interviews and insistence that she is bettering the world are true, just as Mei believed the same of the former Overwatch, and it stings to learn that such is not the case.

Still, Mei does not allow herself to be broken by such a revelation; it is clear that Dr. Vaswani believes she is bettering the world, as she said, and it is that belief, that confidence, which Mei was inspired by, the drive to better the world Dr. Vaswani seemed so shaped by. That drive is no less real, even if Mei no longer has faith in her methods.

If cryostasis could not break Mei, then this cannot. She will move on, will move forward, will work still to make the world better, with Lucio and the rest of the Recalled Overwatch by her side.

She will move forward, and she will allow herself to believe, deep down, that Dr. Satya Vaswani is trying to help others, and better the world. She will move forward, and believe that other people are basically good. There is no alternative.

 

V.

In the end, Satya leaves Vishkar. She does not want to, is hurt by leaving, and find the necessity of changing her routine an added anxiety in what is now an uncertain future, but what choice has she? If Vishkar lied to her, for years—and they did—what would stop them from lying about their intent to create order, from lying about what happens in the communities she builds after she leaves them?

Satya was born to create order, to bring harmony, everything in its proper place, and that is what she will do—but not under the oversight of another. For her to truly achieve what it was she was meant to, for her to do what she must, she can no longer be blinded by another, can no longer be beholden to the will of another. She must control her own destiny, and so she goes to the one place where she knows she will be free to do as she wills—Overwatch.

In the old Overwatch, Satya might have had difficulty with adjusting, with learning to fit her own schedule and needs within a rigid military structure, but the new, smaller Overwatch eschews such formality, and she is free to govern herself. She may sleep alone, eat alone, and study alone. The only think which she may not do alone, Winston tells her, as he leads her on a tour of the Watchpoint, is work.

Before Satya can protest, can insist that she works best alone, Winston is ushering her into her shared laboratory. But, much to Satya's surprise, her new lab partner—something she has not had since she was scarcely more than a girl, and the word is bitter even to think—is familiar to her.

_Dr. Zhou._

 

VI.

When the time comes for Mei to meet Dr. Vaswani in person, she chokes.  Normally, Mei is gracious to a fault—working for long periods of time with people in a remote location is more than enough to teach one the importance of being polite—but when confronted with a woman whom Mei already has conflicted feelings about, a woman who has been important in her life without the two of them having ever truly met, a woman about whom Mei has heard terrible things from a trusted friend... when meeting with such a woman, what could Mei say?  What could anyone?

What Mei wants is to introduce herself, like she ought to, to make a good impression in order to avoid any awkwardness when working around one another in a small laboratory.  What Mei wants is to ask Dr. Vaswani questions—Why did you do it?  Did you know?  Why leave now?  Did you mean what you said, about a better world, or was it all an act?  Who were you to decide what future was best for humanity?—but they are not questions which are appropriate to ask a person whom one has just met, even if she feels she and Dr. Vaswani have known each other for years, now.  What Mei wants is to comfort Dr. Vaswani, to tell her all will be well, to reassure her that even if things are rocky here in the beginning, she too can belong, to tell her that in leaving Vishkar she has made the right decision, is doing the right thing.

Instead, Mei freezes.  She sees Dr. Vaswani's reflection in the window above her workspace, hears Winston introduce her, and faced with a thousand things she could say, Mei says none of them.

It is an inauspicious beginning, in Mei's mind.

 

VII.

Satya's new colleague works diligently beside her, never faltering in her work, never stopping to say a word.  It is their fifth day together, in this space, and Satya could count on the fingers of her prosthesis all of their interactions, were she so inclined.

Coldness is not in Dr. Zhou's nature, Satya knows, for she has seen her after the both of them have left the lab, discussing Dr. Winston's work with him, teasing Dr. Ziegler about her interest in Lieutenant Amari, and laughing along with dos Santos.  Yet, during their time in the office, Dr. Zhou speaks hardly a word to her.

While she does not begrudge Dr. Zhou her professionalism, could never find fault in a decision to focus on work rather than to chat idly, questions bubble under Satya's skin, always threatening to spill to the surface.  She wants to ask about what truly happened at Ecopoint: Antarctica, wants to know how it is that Dr. Zhou was able to return, after such an event, to her prior work and employers, knowing that they left her for dead, wants to learn how it is that she has been able to move on, to continue on, much the same as before, in a world where everything is unfamiliar.

Years with Vishkar have taught Satya not to question, but to accept, and she would, were it not for the lingering thought that questioning might have lead her to leave Vishkar sooner, were it not for the way that the questions stay just under the surface of their conversations, like an itch, were it not for the fact that Satya does not care, truly, for propriety, and _needs_ answers.

So, she asks.

 

VIII.

Dr. Vaswani's first question catches Mei off-guard.  Perhaps it should not, given both Dr. Vaswani's reputation for directness—which, as a fellow PhD, Mei is hardly made uncomfortable by or unused to—but it is, nonetheless, a surprise, if a welcome one.

After all, Mei has questions of her own.

So, to the best of her ability, she answers Satya's questions (for they have agreed, at Mei's own insistence, that if they are to discuss matters such as these, then they ought not be too formal with one another).  Not all of the questions are easy, and there are some which Mei cannot find the words to express an answer to, but she tries—because she thinks Satya needs a friend here, yes, because she is growing fond of Satya the woman and not Dr. Vaswani the figure, too, but mainly because the questions are ones which she finds she needs to answer for herself, as well.

Soon enough, they find their equilibrium, find a way to work together and, at the same time, work towards understanding one another, and themselves.  It is not an easy camaraderie, but it is one which Mei suspects both of them need, in the moment.

A part of Mei is afraid of this, is afraid to have a new close friend—knows what can happen, to those whom she cares for, all too quickly, if she allows herself to let her guard down even for a moment.  Yet, she finds that she already cares for Satya far too much to turn back now.  She cannot allow herself not to live for fear of loss, cannot shut herself off from happiness.  It is possible that things may change, again, but she is learning to accept that, or trying to.

 

IX.

While Mei is dealing with a fear of vulnerability, of losing what it is they have, Satya herself is wondering if perhaps, this is what true friendship feels like, and if the reason she never felt so deeply for any of her colleagues before was the influence of Vishkar, of the environment they created within their ranks.  Satya has had friends before, of course, and close friends... but none so close as she and Mei, and none whom she has felt towards in quite the same way, for whom her chest clenched when she saw them in danger.

It is... difficult, when they are fighting, together.  Satya's turrets are designed to secure an area, and to protect those within it, but they are not enough, not always, and she wishes she were better armored, that she might better defend those around her, might better defend her teammates, might better defend _Mei._

To wear armor would compromise her flexibility, would make it more difficult for her to wield hard light and to create defenses as she is accustomed, so it is not an option... but hard light, hard light itself is flexible enough to protect and not to inhibit movement.

So Satya does what she does best: she dances, she builds, she creates, she shapes reality, bends it to her will in such a way that she can protect not only herself, but all of those around her.

As Satya places her first shield generator, feels the curious buzz of hard light come to rest against her skin, she realizes, suddenly, what the feeling is that drove her to this, what compelled her to defend and to protect.

Satya loves Mei.  She is _in love with_ Mei.

It is a strange thing to realize—for Satya has known desire, has known attraction, has been in relationships, but she has never been certain, until now, that she has felt love.  And now, without even realizing it was happening, she has found herself _in love with_ another person.

Without a doubt, love is not something to rush into, however, and things are moving a good deal faster than Satya would wish—even if the only change has been a shift in her own perception, an ability to see that which she overlooked before—and so, Satya decides not to speak first, this time, decides to approach the issue carefully, and to ascertain Mei's own feelings before she proceeds.

 

X.

Eventually, Mei comes to accept a fear of losing Satya, comes to realize that, given the nature of the work she now finds herself doing with Overwatch now, that is _always_ a possibility.  Once she accepts that, she finds she can once again begin to relax, and to enjoy Satya’s presence, and the peace it brings with it.

Truly, they work well together, are in harmony, with their needs and goals complimenting one another, and Mei thinks it is the perfect friendship, as beautiful and solid as one of Satya’s hard light constructions, or her own walls of ice.

Until, that is, a thought comes along which shatters the peace.

Satya is dancing, as the sun is setting, is weaving into being a new creation as she does so, when she steps into a ray of light, and Mei sees the way it warms her skin and thinks _Oh.  Oh, no._ For suddenly, she realizes that Satya is beautiful, is more than, and the two of them have been growing closer, and Mei cannot believe that she could ever have been as happy as she is now, going into her lab every morning, without anticipating seeing Satya.

Suddenly, although nothing outward has changed, Mei has _created_ the change she fears, and now she finds herself worrying about what Satya would think, if she were to express an interest in her, finds herself worrying that her feelings might come between them, finds herself worrying that she is greedy for not simply accepting what it is they have, but wanting more. 

But try as she might, the thought does not leave her.

 

—.

On a battlefield a continent away from the Watchpoint they call home, two figures find themselves meeting, but not for the first time.

They have met, time and again, by name and by reputation, as coworkers, as people, and as friends, and now, they find themselves meeting in a way which is entirely new.

The battle which brought them there has ended, but they find themselves still walled off from everyone else, a pillar of ice closing them into a small room.  The combatants who forced them into the room have left, or been killed, but they remain, sitting in silence—outwardly, it is not so different from how they might sit were they both at work in their lab.  Yet, it is different, for earlier, there was a close call in which both of them might have been killed, and the knowledge sits like a third person in the room, shifts the dynamic they have come to find comfort in, pushes them to think of things differently.  It sits there, creating silence between them which is different from their usual silence, is filled with words they cannot say.

Until, one of them asks a question, worry in her voice, breaks the stalemate they have found themselves in entirely by accident.

In response, there is silence, and then the groan of the ice as it shifts, a portion shearing off in the heat, before the other breaks out in surprised laughter.  She says something so lowly that no one who was attempting to listen in might hear what it was she said, and it is assurance enough for her companion, who then laughs too, even if hers is laughter of relief.

They have met, have been introduced, have come to know one another across the years, and in their lab, and now, they meet in another way, in another place, hidden from the eyes of all observers, one shyly, one with far more confidence, but together, as equals.

This time, no words are exchanged in the meeting, but instead it is a kiss which signals a change, a kiss which will once again throw certainties of their lives into question, but this time—with the other at their side—neither of them fears it.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyway. I love Symmei.
> 
> Title is from 1D's Last First Kiss.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts, and have a great day!


End file.
